before the lights come on
by LovelySpiral
Summary: AU. NaruSasu, SasuNaru. "You can't make everyone happy, Naruto." Sequel to you are missing from me.


_before the lights come on. _

* * *

Naruto wakes up, rubs his eyes. Sasuke's arm is draped across his chest.

"Sasuke," He croaks.

"Mmm?"

"How do we feel about this?"

"I can't answer that," Sasuke yawns, covering his mouth. He blinks and sits up. "What time is it? Twelve?"

"What do we do?" Naruto whispers, snatching his boxers up from the floor. "What do we say? God, we're in Ino's room."

"We weren't drunk," Sasuke says calmly. "And we don't owe anyone an explanation."

"We weren't drunk." Naruto sighs. "I wish we were."

"Do you?" Sasuke asks, finger-combing his dark, rumpled hair. He leans over and grabs his pants off the floor.

"No. You know you're my most precious person." Naruto groans, flopping back onto the bed. Sasuke puts his arm around his shoulders and holds him close. Naruto absently kisses his neck. They've always been like this. They'll always be like this.

"Actually, yeah." Naruto says a moment later. "Can we keep this between us?"

"Another secret? Very well." Sasuke says, sounding a little too amused.

"Sasuke!" Naruto throws his hands up. "Don't you feel a little bad?"

"No. We didn't do anything wrong. Naruto, you can't make everyone happy." Sasuke says quietly. "Do you want me to go?"

"No! I just... I have to. I don't want to hurt anyone."

Sasuke opens his mouth, closes it.

_You're hurting me. _

"This'll be our secret," Sasuke says finally, because he has caused Naruto enough pain.

"Thanks." Naruto can't look Sasuke in the eye. "Uh... Sasuke..."

"I'm getting coffee," Sasuke sighs. "It's too early for all this."

"I could get it for you..."

"No, go home. I'll go out the window, it's just one floor."

"You aren't a ninja, Sas."

Sasuke smirks at him before climbing out. Naruto watches him hop over Ino's fence and walk down the road.

"Shit." Naruto says. He puts on his clothes and exits the room, only to be assualted by his friends - still hungover.

"Naruto! Stop being so loud!"

"Your hair is blinding me, man."

He pushes his way out, makes his way home.

He knows Sasuke will keep quiet because Sasuke _owes _him after everything, but there's about six hickeys on him and people are going to ask questions.

* * *

"Welcome home!" Sakura cheers. "How was the party?"

"Great," Naruto says. "Is there any milk?"

"Of course," She says, beaming at him. She's changed. She's fallen in love.

Out of love, really. Out of love with Sasuke.

They're not dating. He's not dating her, or Sasuke.

He _could_ be dating Sasuke.

It's quiet in the kitchen. Sakura's noticed the redness on his neck.

She smiles still, pours him the milk. She moves quickly, efficiently.

"I'm going to go get the mail, I'll be right back."

* * *

Naruto runs to the coffee store and finds Sasuke still there.

"Hi."

"Hi."

He sits down and swipes Sasuke's pastry. "You hate sweets."

"I had a feeling you'd come." Sasuke gazes out the window. "It's snowing."

"Yeah." Why were they running out of words?

Sasuke takes a deep breath. "What are we doing?"

"We're not talking about this." Naruto says.

"Are you going to ask her out?"

"Sakura? No." Naruto bits his lip. "I'd ask you out, you know, if we weren't... Us."

_We'd destroy each other's hearts. _

"I..." Shit, Sasuke's eyes are glassy. "Yeah, I know."

"I don't want to lose you, Sasuke."

"I don't want to leave you again." Sasuke sighs. "I'll be here."

"Thanks." Naruto says. "We're better off as friends."

"Yeah." Sasuke says. He sips his coffee. "Yeah."

* * *

"How was the party, Ino? Did Naruto stop by?" Sakura asks. "He was gone when I got back."

"Hey, Sakura! It was great!" Ino grins, pumping her fist in the air. "You should've come!"

"Maybe another time. There's so much work from the hospital." Sakura frowns. "I wish I could catch a break."

"We're getting dinner Thursday! Come then!" Ino pouts, slinging her arm around her best friend's shoulder. "Please, Sakura? Naruto's coming!"

Sakura gives a little smile. "Okay."

* * *

Sasuke wakes up screaming.

_My face was burning. _

_Fire - fire everywhere... _

His hand scrabbles for his phone, right under his pillow.

"Shit." Sasuke gasps, dropping his phone. He runs to his bathroom and vomits.

He sits, coughing. "To call or not to call?"

_I'd wake Sakura. _

He takes a gulping breath and brushes his teeth, eyeing his reflection.

Dark hair, dark eyes, tired, angry, hurt, pale skin, blue - Naruto's blue ocean eyes.

He gives a sigh and goes out to sit on the fire escape. Snow swirls around him, and there's a soft call.

"Sasuke- kun?"

"Orochimaru," He groans. "I don't have time for you today."

"Love problems?" Orochimaru chuckles from the adjacent fire escape.

"Why are you out here?"

"Enjoying the snow... My child loves the snow."

Sasuke watches the lines on Orochimaru's face melt and the man looks dead tired.

"Where is he?"

"Gone. Gone out with the winter."

Sasuke covers his face with his hands.

"Are you cold, Sasuke- kun?"

Sasuke nods.

"Come over to my apartment. I'll give you some chocolate."

He goes.

Orochimaru holds him - the walls are ocean blue like Naruto's eyes.

* * *

"Hey, are you coming to the dinner?"

"I'm not sure..."

"I'll come and pick you up, how does that sound?"

"All right. Okay."

"See you soon, Sas!"

* * *

"Thanks." Sasuke mutters as Naruto opens the car door.

"No prob." Naruto grins. They drive in silence until their favorite song comes on the radio.

They sing.

"I love you," Naruto laughs, and then they both tense and Sasuke cups his face.

They're kissing.

"We should go in," Sasuke breathes.

Dinner at Kiba's place - a tradition since they all were sixteen.

"Hey, Sasuke! Hey, Naruto!" Ino latches onto Sasuke's arm, winks at Sakura. "Sakura has a question!"

Sakura turns beet-red, but goes with it. "Want to go out sometime?"

Naruto's eyes flicker to Sasuke. Sasuke is staring at the ground.

Kiba, Shikamaru, Neji - they've caught on. Everyone is looking at Sasuke.

"Sure, Sakura!" Naruto says brightly. She smiles in relief. She's sweet, pretty in her happiness.

"She's... She'll be good for you." Sasuke murmurs as the party goes on. "Have fun."

"I love you." Naruto whispers. "Only you."

"Don't make this worse."

"What if... what if we could make this work?"

"How? You just agreed to go out with Sakura."

"One date only."

"We had sex, Naruto. Nothing special."

"Nothing _special_?" Naruto says incredulously.

Sasuke shakes his head. Naruto walks over to Sakura, takes her hand.

_Why are you doing this to me, my love?_

* * *

Sakura's lips are soft and cold and the truth comes hurtling out.

_Word vomit, _Naruto thinks.

Sakura looks startled, hurt, betrayed, humiliated.

He's hurt her.

He's hurt her, he's hurt Sasuke.

She's running off, her boots slipping in the slush, and he wants to call out to her.

"Are you okay?" A pretty, red-haired woman asks.

He forces a smile. "Just great!"

* * *

Sasuke stands out on the fire escape, letting his lips turn blue.

He throws his shoe, childishly, to see how far it will go.

It doesn't go far, doesn't even hit the ground.

Ocean blue eyes look up at him.

* * *

_I love only you. _

* * *

_end. _


End file.
